Faraz's
Freakin' Awesome
Golden Ticket

Greetings to you, the lucky finder of this Golden Ticket from Mr. Faraz Yashar!

Present this ticket to Mr. Faraz Yashar by 11 o'clock and 59 minutes in the evening of the ninth day of October of 2013 to claim your prize inbound and outbound plane tickets to visit Mr. Faraz Yashar's factory and do not be late. You may bring with you one member of your own family... and only one... but no one else.1

In your wildest dreams you could not imagine the marvelous surprises that await you! 2

Contact Mr. Faraz Yashar to redeem your prize! 3

  1. This family member must also be your eldest brother.
  2. Seriously.
  3. By contacting Mr. Faraz Yashar you agree to the fine print below which have been obfuscated for your convenience.

Official Rules

NO PURCHASE IS NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED. VALID IN THE 50 UNITED STATES AND THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA ONLY PARTICULARLY BECAUSE FARAZ CAN'T AFFORD INTERNATIONAL TICKETS. ENTRY IN THIS CONTEST CONSTITUTES YOUR ACCEPTANCE OF THESE OFFICIAL RULES.

Faraz's Golden Ticket Competition (the "Contest") is designed to award one of many individuals ("Entrant(s)" or "You") with an opportunity to visit the most incredible person alive, Faraz Yashar. Faraz Yashar will choose the winner, and a prize will be awarded in accordance with these Official Rules.

  1. Binding Agreement: In order to enter the Contest, you must agree to the Rules. Please read the Rules prior to entry to ensure you understand and agree. If you don't, you'll regret it.

  2. Eligibility: To be eligible to enter the Contest, an Entrant must be born on October 9, 1993 and be twenty (20) years or older. Furthermore, the entrant must have female reproductive organs and have mitochondrial DNA with 99.99% similarity to that of Faraz Yashar.

  3. Prize: The winner will win an inbound and outbound plane ticket to visit Faraz Yashar at times of his or her choice. A copy of this ticket will be sent via email. Furthermore, a framed copy of the tickets will be sent to the winner by ground mail. Only one such prize will be issued to the first validated winner: everyone else can go fuck themselves.

  4. Redemption: Faraz Yashar will email the appropriate prize and send a framed certificate via ground mail to the winner. Prizes are non-transferable and must be accepted as awarded. Faraz Yashar is not responsible for a lost or damaged prize and in the case where the prize is lost or damaged it will not be replaced.

  5. Conditions: By accepting the prize, the winner agrees that Faraz Yashar may use the winner's name and picture for promotional purposes without further consideration, unless prohibited by law. Furthermore, the winner agrees unequivocally and forevermore that Faraz Yashar is the most freaking awesome person in all the universe. The winner also agrees that within 48 hours of his or her arrival, he or she will enthusiastically perform the song "I Love Faraz, I Love to Kiss Faraz" for a video recording of a minimum of 30 seconds that can be distributed as Faraz Yashar desires.

  6. Ipsum: Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Fusce elementum lacus massa, eget viverra augue venenatis ut. Cras pulvinar lacus non enim tempus pulvinar. Fusce placerat sagittis elementum. Nulla at dignissim arcu. Aenean faucibus auctor felis, nec adipiscing sem faucibus non. In imperdiet purus a mollis porttitor. Vestibulum cursus enim ac lorem dictum volutpat. Mauris pellentesque justo ut libero tempor, ac mattis dolor sodales. Donec id felis aliquam, pretium dui quis, accumsan turpis. Aliquam tellus quam, vestibulum sit amet sem non, tempus sodales augue. Pellentesque dictum ac risus eu cursus.

  7. Eight: Nine.

  8. Just Because